commit 5b0abb061cc731afc060bb7cf87afe2cfdbb158e
parent be7e2ad428f4ffbccec9c7fdaf67bb580b76fd73
Author: Chris Bracken <chris@bracken.jp>
Date: Sun, 26 May 2024 18:11:53 -0700
Add Amazon reviews of Bil Keene's books
These were all taken down but thankfully preserved for eternity by the
internets.
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+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+ ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #621
+ `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
+ 888 888 888 888 888 "Family Circus"
+ 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
+ 888 888 888 888 888 " by Anonymous
+ 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99
+ o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+
+ Welcome to Amazon.com!
+
+ Shopping at Amazon.com is 100% secure -- guaranteed!
+
+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+
+ "Daddy's Cap is on Backwards" by Bill Keane
+ Our Price: $3.19
+ You Save: $0.80 (20%)
+ Usually ships in 1-2 weeks.
+ (June 1996)
+
+ If you like this book, write an online review and share your
+ thoughts with other readers!
+
+ Avg. Customer Review: [4.5 out of 5 stars]; Number of Reviews: 12
+
+ Customer Comments:
+
+ A reader from Bowling Green, OH, April 10, 1999 [1 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A waste of time for dedicated gamers I must say, I was disappointed.
+ While many of the other supplements for the Family Circus Role-Playing
+ System have provided hours of entertainment, this one fell far short of the
+ usual high standards. The back of the module claims that this adventure is
+ for 4-7 characters of levels 7-9, but my group was able to complete the
+ module with mostly 6th level characters and a 4th level Dolly! The entire
+ module suggested a lack of effort on the part of its designers. For
+ example, consider this random encounter table for Billy's Walk Home From
+ Sunday School:
+
+ 01-50 Slide.
+ 51-80 Fence.
+ 81-90 Spiked Pit.
+ 91-95 Ogre.
+ 96-00 Roll Again.
+
+ Clearly someone just wasn't trying at all to capture the ambiance of
+ Billy's long marches. This is not the stuff of a good outdoor adventure
+ (and I won't even go off on the lack of hexagonal mapping grids).
+
+ It's hard to believe that this is the same company that gave us such
+ classics as Temple of Grandparental Evil and Stationwagon on the
+ Borderlands. While the revised stats for Ida Know and Not Me have been much
+ needed since the entire storyline was revamped and relaunched after Zero
+ Hour, these items do not make the module cost effective. A good gamer could
+ and should come up with his or her own stats.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Dewey Beach, Delaware, April 8, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Not so much a Keane as a Koan. What is the sound of one Cap on
+ Backwards? When are we each going to realize, as Bil [sic] Keane knows,
+ that we are all "Daddy"? Who's your Daddy? You are. That is just one of the
+ Zen lessons taught in this tome. Also, if a Family Circus is printed in the
+ woods, and there's no one there to read it; is it still funny? This is a
+ good primer for anyone willing to run off and join the Circus. Welcome to
+ the Family; resistence is futile, you will be asimilated.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Baja, CA, April 8, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Buy the book, then see the Bruce Willis movie! After reading this
+ great masterpiece, I felt an uncontrollable, almost hypnotic urge to also
+ buy books by Phillip Holmes, Vera Croghan, Kerstin Norris, Richard Auletta,
+ and Ake Viberg (the latter being especially enlightening with regard to
+ Swedish grammar).
+
+ Incidentally, the problem is not actually Daddy's Cap. In fact if
+ you look closely you will see that his cap is just fine. It's his doorknob
+ of a head that has got turned around 180 degrees.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from On The Run, No Fixed Address, April 8, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Masonic Ploy
+
+ I owe Bil Keane my life. When I first published my review of
+ "Daddy's Cap is on Backwards" on March 25th, I knew that I risked the ire
+ of Freemasons worldwide, but I was unprepared for the dire consequences.
+ The Masons struck back with a three pronged attack, on April 1rst. The
+ assumption was that any of their actions might be concealed or
+ misinterpreted under the guise of April Fools. In their first gambit, an
+ article appeared on Fortune Magazine's Web site ("Amazon's Not-Just-April
+ Fools") claiming that ALL the reviews of Bil Keane's brave and daring work
+ were "spoof reviews," including my own.
+
+ From Fortune's article - "Another [review] delves into the supposed
+ Masonic references and suggests that the book's disappearance from print
+ has to do with a conspiracy."
+
+ "Supposed" references?!? Only to those who cannot see or, perhaps,
+ inclined to see otherwise. (But I will not be Fortune's fool!) The book and
+ my review were officially reinterpreted as "humorous and harmless" by
+ Fortune Magazine, the traditional mouthpiece of the Illuminati, who seem to
+ have temporarily ceased their century-old blood feud with Freemasonry in
+ order to jointly extinguish these threatening flames of truth. With sharp
+ teeth of "Daddy's Cap" now pulled, the book was cleverly reissued. It is
+ once again available through Amazon.com, and most likely supplied from the
+ Masons' own hoard of Keane's work. Finally, they set out to silence me. At
+ noon on April 1rst, I was arrested on a charge of solicitation of
+ prostitution as I conversed with Candi, my personal investment broker,
+ outside of a Super 8 motel room in Midlothian, Virginia. (How that room
+ came to be on my credit card remains known only to the Masons themselves.)
+ While in the squad car, I noticed that the arresting officer wore a golden
+ band on his left ring finger. For those who have drunk deeply of "Daddy's
+ Cap," this is the identifying talisman of all Masonic assassins, as Dolly's
+ comparison of her new plastic ring to Mommy's "wedding" ring clearly shows.
+ Knowing I had but seconds to live, I leapt from the moving car and, leg
+ bleeding, limped behind a local Arby's, where I hid myself beneath a recent
+ shipment of Horsey Sauce.
+
+ No agent of the Masons is thrown off for long and soon I saw the
+ "police officer" and his cohorts closing on my position. It was then that I
+ remembered the cartoon on page 43 of "Daddy's Cap." Billy, commanded to
+ return from school as quickly as possible, begins a circuitous route,
+ marked by a dotted line, that takes him all over the neighborhood and
+ through many minor adventures. Before then, I had assumed that Keane had
+ created this particular piece to expose the Masonic machinations behind the
+ infamous "Jack the Ripper" murders, with Billy as Saucy Jack, eluding
+ capture as he winds his way throughout the Whitechapel district thanks to
+ his brother Masons in the police ranks. But crouching there, surrounded by
+ the smell of horseradish, I realized that Keane was describing the route to
+ a safehouse. Of course, I will not reveal where that house is located, only
+ that I am close and have so far escaped detection by the Freemasons and
+ their agents - the IRS, the alternative rock band Goo Goo Dolls, and Omar
+ Sharif. (Although I believed myself a goner when, in Altoona, PA, I almost
+ checked in to a Holiday Inn where Sharif, the cunning strategist and 14th
+ degree Apron Holder, was to be speaking at a convention of bridge
+ enthusiasts.) Now, like Keane, I find myself hunted. While Keane lives day
+ to day with the hope that his high profile celebrity status and copious
+ "dirt" on the Masons will keep the wolf at bay, I have no such aegis.
+
+ Thus I find myself alone in this world, with only my Jansport
+ backpack (rugged!) and a few meager possessions - my bootleg copy of a
+ Philadelphia Boys II Men concert, 64 slices of American cheese, and the
+ Mormon Bible. And of course, my now-tattered copy of "Daddy's Cap is on
+ Backwards." I draw strength with every new insight it provides. I've
+ disguised myself with a new haircut (good call, Mommy). But more than that,
+ I've taken many of its lessons to heart. Only the Club of Rome will have
+ the might to rebuff the Masonic takeover. L. Ron Hubbard is alive and well
+ and fighting the good fight. And spaghetti is really funny if you pronounce
+ it "spa-spetty." If you do not hear from me again, you will know I perished
+ for the truth. A truth that Fortune magazine would laugh at. But if I can
+ reach the safehouse, I shall let you know. Until then, I will truly be
+ "Notme."
+
+ [-----]
+
+ Jason Moreno (joegwidget@tamu.edu) from College Station, Texas,
+ April 7, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A work rivaled by no other.
+
+ Bil Keane is a master of the obvious, and yet he is able to take
+ delicate subtleties to a new level. While opposite in definition, these two
+ parts work side-by-side. Keane is able to identify the obvious traits of
+ children and their plain, truthful statements; however, he also allows
+ their subtle tendencies to come alive and flourish in this cascade of comic
+ delight, which is not as dry as that to which many readers are accustomed,
+ but which is unable to fail at bringing smiles to those who partake of this
+ wondrously simple flow of life that is so truthful and straight forward
+ that we cannot help but laugh as we realize our own tendencies to hide from
+ the truth. Bil Keane has hit upon something that we all need yet all hide
+ from at the same time: honesty. Someday, we will all be in a world without
+ the classic "beating around the bush." Someday, the world will not be a
+ mere representation of itself but rather itself in its purest form. Until
+ then, we have two modes of truth: the Bible, and Bil Keane. The first can
+ save us from ourselves; the second can save us from the deceitful world
+ which we have created for ourselves. And that's all I have to say about
+ that.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Kalamazoo, MI, April 7, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Words cannot express the joy this book brought into my life.
+
+ This book has shaped my thoughts, values and beliefs. Before reading
+ Daddy's Cap Is On Backwards, I felt alone and adrift in this world... but
+ now I have a new sense of purpose and a new view on life. Bill Keane is
+ more thoughtful than Deepak Chopra... more eloquent than Tom Wolfe... and
+ more inspirational than L. Ron Hubbard. Fifty years from now, former
+ Scientologists will be following the words and wisdom of Bill Keane, and
+ Family Circus will replace Dianetics on their bookshelves. Bless you, Bill
+ Keane!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from toronto, April 5, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ What the heck are these people talking about ? really... what
+ the... I mean who ?... that is to say.... - ? I don't get it.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from deep behind enemy lines. Or Ontario. Whatever.,
+ April 3, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A greater book than this has and never will be written.
+
+ With it's bright, Warhol-esque colored cover and it's classic line
+ drawing in simple but varied geometric frames, Bil Keane's work is a work
+ of art even before you get to the text. And with it's easy, single page
+ layout of bite-size-for-the-common-man presentation, Daddy's Hat is On
+ Backwards is at once a feel good walk down memory lane and a touching
+ lesson in goodness reminiscent of A Prary Home Comanion and Everything I
+ ever needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarden. What's more, this collection
+ of treasured images carries an overall Zen-like message of 'hey, take it
+ easy man, you're hat's on backwards' that leaves you with a feeling not
+ only of being well read, but of read well being. But the most important
+ element is the is that at the same time it leaves you feeling good, it
+ deftly plants the seeds of revolution. Note how the cover depicts people
+ having a reaction to the simple act of inverting one's hat. Bil Keane,
+ mentor that he is, means for us to see that revolution can come quietly
+ from the grassroots to one day overwhelm the system and change the world as
+ we know it. Yes, the day is coming, the day when we can throw off the
+ shackles of bourgeois plagiarisms like Doonsbury, The Far Side and Calvin &
+ Hobbes, the day when every square inch and second of your media experience
+ will be Marmaduke, Mary Worth, Cathy, Charlie Brown, Garfield, Shoe and all
+ of it led by the unstoppable force of THE FAMILY CIRCUS! The day whent the
+ evils of intelligencia will be wiped clean from the face of the earth to
+ make way for the New Dawn! The Day is coming, THE DAY IS NOW! ALL HAIL THE
+ RISE OF THE CIRCUS! HAIL CIRCUS! HAIL CIRCUS! HAIL CIRCUS!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Texas (shamrock@stateless.com), April 2, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Modern-day Milton: "Paradise Lost" for Dummies
+
+ With the multi-inked strips of Family Circus, Keane takes the
+ outdated critical fads of the deconstructionist, 'carnivaliesque' 80's (and
+ early '90s) and references collagists Juan Gris and Brian Eno with eerie,
+ almost otherworldly, and chillingly prescient evocations of bright doom at
+ the fin de siecle.
+
+ For the reader who has never tired of "Laughter, the Best Medicine",
+ or the wit of Bennett Cerf, Keane will provide a dash of angostura bitters
+ with his bracing seltzer-in-the face of the body politic. Age anxiety, the
+ helpless poignancy of intergenerational understanding, and the inanities of
+ lawn care all receive their just excoriation in Keane's meticulously,
+ consistently formally challenges.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Edmonton, Alberta, CANADA (eh?), March 29, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Billy's Neighborhood Journeys Are A Lesson To Us All
+
+ The REAL challenge in this insightful and philosphical text is
+ looking past the obvious Masonic references and deep, secretive,
+ Objecivist undertones, so that we may apply Billy's dotted-line adventures
+ to our own mundane existences.
+
+ For example, when we follow Billy from the back porch, through the
+ sandbox, down the slide, and back into the house for cookies, we must ask
+ ourselves, "Why did he not drink from the hose?" and "Shouldn't I stop more
+ in my day, and 'drink from the hose'?".
+
+ Bill Keane is a clear visionary, and, some may say, a modern-day
+ philosopher.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Fairfax, VA, March 29, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ His Vision Cannot Be Silenced
+
+ Let us now praise this famous book, now made "unavailable" by the
+ vagaries of publishing and by those who would rather forget its powerful
+ message. "Daddy's Cap Is On Backwards" remains as forceful today as when
+ it was written during the heady days of youthful rebellion and political
+ activism of the mid-Eighties. This scalding anti-capitalist manifesto that
+ dared speak out against the unjust power structures of the self-dubbed
+ "First World" gave voice to a generation of outraged youth whom America had
+ failed. Bil Keane, poet, author, political prisoner, was and remains my
+ greatest hero. Despite the tremendous pressure placed upon him by the
+ elites, he refused to cave in and make "Family Circus" the celebration of
+ inanity that would have pacified the masses. Instead he crafted a
+ passionate howl against the wind, shouting like a mad prophet to any and
+ all who would listen through the mouths of his "cartoon family."
+
+ As Billy struggles with arithmetic, so too do we all fight against
+ the impersonal forces that alienate us. Dolly and Jeffy, brilliant masques
+ for Kali and Vishnu, illume the spiritual vacuity of our western culture,
+ but also they point to the possible redemption of faith and truth in the
+ person of the oddly silent P.J., the metaphorical incestuous child of Dolly
+ and Jeffy. P.J. is hope embodied, the future made manifest. His one-piece
+ jumper with the little plastic feeties represents the unity of truth and
+ life so desperately desired by Keane and his countless followers. His
+ silence is the silence of the Buddha, the silence of peace, the silence of
+ true enlightenment. P.J. has no pockets, and thus no money, an implicit
+ rejection of the capitalist world. Such shocking art would of course have
+ consequences. The riots in Chicago as a result of the infamous "Mommy got a
+ haircut" strips are an unfortuate chapter in the history of Keaneism, but
+ such violent reactions reflect the depth and potency of the anger into
+ which "Family Circus" taps.
+
+ But to his critics and enemies, I ask you: would the Berlin Wall
+ have fallen without the inflammatory subtext of Billy's bicycle mishaps?
+ Would Richard Nixon have been caught without Dolly's cryptic references to
+ "a hair in my sp'getti?" Of course not. Keane is the most important
+ cultural dissident this country has ever produced. With his mysterious
+ "disappearence" into an unmarked van four years ago, America lost her
+ finest poet. It is an open secret that Keane is still alive and held by the
+ government in a detention facility in rural Nevada. We must demand the
+ freedom of this man and try to live up to the standards he has set for us.
+ Contact Amnesty International for how you can help. The time is now.
+ FREE BIL KEANE!! FREE BIL KEANE!!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Richmond, VA, March 25, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Masonic Subtext
+
+ As its devotees will surely note, the disappearance of "Daddy's Cap
+ Is On Backwards" from publishers' shelves is less a product of its
+ so-called "out of stock" status, than of the concerted efforts of the
+ Freemasons, whose bloody rites and hermeneutic secrets are both revealed
+ and lampooned by Keane under the guise of wholesome cartoon faire. Keane
+ treads dangerous ground even on the cover, where he sends up the higher
+ rites of the Third Order of Celebration, in which newly initiated Masons,
+ stripped to their ceremonial aprons, are made to wear a bishop's hat upside
+ down, and must run a gauntlet of paddles with their "cap on backwards." In
+ this case,
+
+ Jeffy and Billy represent the initiates, but with their hats
+ properly affixed, while Daddy, symbolizing a 13th degree elder, is the one
+ who is forced to wear the mark of neophyte shame. Such bold and risky
+ satire fills this seemly innocuous and workman-like effort from Keane, who
+ spent eight years infiltrating the Freemason power structure in an attempt
+ to bring it down from within, while continuing to produce his normally
+ facile "Family Circus" comic strip in order to fund his crusade. In the
+ end, Keane barely escaped with his life, after he was exposed by former
+ ally Jim Davis, himself a 3rd Degree Lodge Master. Now, Keane, in this
+ masterful work, deftly uses his "Family Circus" comic strip as a vehicle of
+ retribution. The once whimsical phantom "Notme" becomes a running metaphor
+ throughout, and whether spilling grape juice on the carpet or tracking mud
+ into the house, clearly stabs at the heart of the American Senate, who,
+ while appearing to act on Keane's call for joint ATF/FBI investigations
+ into the Freemasons, shunted his report to the House where it has remained
+ in limbo. "Notme" indeed!
+
+ For those of us lucky enough to obtain a copy of "Daddy's Cap Is On
+ Backwards" before the suspicious warehouse fire last December, there are
+ surprises and condemnation on every page. While Jeffy's accident with a
+ frozen treat results in the amusing neologism "plopcicle," it is clearly a
+ mutilated anagram of "c pope cill" or "see pope kill," the repeated mantra
+ of the assassins of Book, Plane and Compass, the Masonic agents of
+ international terror, bent on the destruction of the Vatican. But like the
+ Popsicle, Keane shows their efforts as falling flat. Perhaps most shocking
+ of all, Keane reveals through the character of Dolly, in her tea party with
+ Daddy on page 33, the secret of eternal life, jealously guarded by the
+ Masons since its revelation by the Comte de San Germain in the 17th
+ century. Small wonder that Bil Keane has begun using the alias "Bill Keane"
+ in his latest effort to stay a step ahead of the sword. Bil Keane -
+ humorist, semi-skilled artist, adventurer, patriot.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Portland, Oregon, March 5, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ It's Better than 'Cats'
+
+ It's so yin. It's so yang. It's got a good beat and I can dance to
+ it. Bil Keane is to literature what Kafka is to the Martial Arts. A tour de
+ force. An emotional roller coaster. A forty minute spin in a tea cup of
+ dysfunction and bliss. I laughed. I cried. I spilt my milk. Who did? Ida
+ Know! Not Me! Five stars aren't enough. I give it five stars and a yellow
+ moon. Five stars, a yellow moon and two green clovers. No blue diamonds,
+ though. Blue diamonds taste like Scotch Tape. Sure, they may be
+ "technically" edible, but who needs them? Silly rabbit, I'm cookoo for
+ Family Circus!
+
+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+
+ "I Had a Frightmare!" by Bil Keane
+ Our Price: $3.19
+ You Save: $0.80 (20%)
+ Usually ships in 24 hours.
+ (November 1991)
+
+ If you like this book, write an online review and share your
+ thoughts with other readers!
+
+ Avg. Customer Review: [4.5 out of 5 stars] ; Number of Reviews: 18
+
+ Customer Comments:
+
+ Julio Franco from Chicago, IL, April 9, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A triumph of the human spirit Keane is a product of the philosophic
+ and scientific rebellion of the nineteenth century. His aesthetic response
+ to this realistic view of nature and the universe is sensitive and
+ intellectual. Keane speaks contemptuously of Nature's holy plan and
+ stresses a view of reality in which the first cause of the universe is
+ unconsciousness of man's suffering and desires.
+
+ For the first time, I believe, we have found trustworthy evidence
+ that Keane has been influenced by German pessimism, and I am inclined to
+ believe that Keane adopted the term "Notme" for his First Cause because he
+ was impressed,sometime between May, 1886, and 1893, by the arguments
+ contained in Schopenhauer's great work.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader, April 2, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Clive Barker, move over!
+
+ This masterly narration of the terror-fraught path PJ follows to
+ become a full-fledged Cenobite will gnaw at your soul til the end of your
+ days. 3 days.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ lovecraft@aol.com (HP Lovecraft) from Arkham, Mass , March 29, 1999
+ [3 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A "frightmare" indeed.
+
+ In this latest installment, Keane's family must struggle with
+ nightmares and bedwetting. But the difference between his family and yours,
+ is that the monsters of the children's dreams actually DO exist! Bil and
+ Thel do their best to cover up the tracks outside the children's windows
+ every morning, but it is only a matter of time until the supernatural
+ cthuloid horrors devour their children's souls. And since the spell to
+ banish the elder gods Thel inadvertently summoned with her blender involves
+ child sacrifice, the suspense hangs high as we wonder which one of the
+ children will be gutted on the altar and how Bil will explain it to the
+ others without acknowledging that all their "frightmares" are real! Just
+ terrifying!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ ouchmyhand@aol.com from his position on the floor says... ,
+ March 28, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ I just couldn't put it down!!!
+
+ I started to read "I Had a Frightmare" last night around 8pm. I was
+ done with it in a jif, but I just couldn't put it down. I thought, "how
+ strange that I can't put this book down." Then I noticed the flesh on my
+ hands had been fused to the front and rear cover. It seems some kind of
+ chemical reaction had taken place between the moisture in my palms and the
+ chemicals used to give this first rate book that glossy cover. It wasn't
+ long before the burning sensation began. Before I knew it, the skin on my
+ fingers began to deteriorate and my fingernails fell off at the base. As I
+ ran screaming down the hall to call an ambulance, I tripped on a spark plug
+ that my 2 year old son P.J. had left on the floor and as I fell, I was
+ unable to stop myself with the book fused to my hands. I fell flat and
+ landed with the force equal only to the force of someone my own size and
+ weight hitting a similar surface. I hurt. And for the first time in my
+ life, I was free.
+
+ Be sure to check out other great reviews by searching "67 Feet in
+ the Air" on your amazon key word search.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Faucett, Missouri, March 28, 1999 [1 out of 5 stars]
+
+ He ain't. Keane isn't.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ BluSpark97@aol.com from Los Angeles, CA , March 26, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A compelling and disturbing portrait of an American family.
+
+ I Had a Frightmare indeed. Keane's compelling portrait of a
+dysfunctional
+American family deftly reveals the delicate layers of bruised egos and the
+family's unquenchable thirst for love and acceptance in their daily
+everydrama. Young Jeffy grapples with the onset of a lifetime of
+gender/sexuality issues while Dolly heads full speed ahead into the world
+of the conspicious consumer, devouring everything in her path, including
+her own deeply hidden angst. In this Keane parallel universe, little is
+exactly as it seems and the reader is torn between the terrors of the
+young, bitter family and their unfulfilled hopes for salvation. Each page
+is attached to the book as if glued to a common binding and the front and
+back covers serve as a metaphor for the family's prison-like existence of
+ink and paper. Welcome to the house of pain.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Juneau, Alaska March 26, 1999 [3 out of 5 stars]
+
+ The triumph of the UberMench.
+
+ The sheer number and soul withering power of the reoccurring
+ "frightmares" should key the reader in from the beginning that this shall
+ be no lighthearted romp through suburbia's lawns and kitchens. Indeed, the
+ terrible repressed memories that have haunted little Jeffey for so long
+ come to the surface with a elder horror in this treasury of Nihilism and
+ loss. The reader is at first confused by the images of weeping clowns
+ crossing the pannels, staggering beneath the weight of some unseen burden
+ or woe, but as Jeffey's slow descent into the madness of the Ultimate Truth
+ reveals, they are not just leftover symbols from French Existentialist
+ Cinema, but an eternal reminder of the true nature of this "family circus".
+ Yes this world is a "frightmare", but as little Jeffey demonstrates those
+ who have no souls can survive it.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ Dr. Michael Torrez (coalcracker@univ-munchen.de) from University der
+ Braueri, Munchen, Germany, March 25, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Zehr Gut!
+
+ B.F. Skinner selbst gewesen sein auf dieses anspornte psychologisches
+ Experiment sensorischen Entzug und Kindheitentwicklung stolz. Im dies
+ Moibus Streifen masquerading als zeitgenössisch Familie Stimmung, d Thema
+ haben sein berauben von solch vertraut Element wie Möbel, Fußboden und
+ Decke, Perspektive und ja, Stimmung für bestimmt drei-ungerad Dekade. Die
+ Resultate lassen haben den erudite Prof Skinner shiver: Nicht ein der
+ Themen erreichte einen einzelnen Entwicklungsmeilenstein während des
+ 30-Jahredurchlaufes des Experimentes und ganz zurückging in infantilism und
+ solches childish Lautkonstruieren wie " gasphetti. " Der Steuerung Gruppe
+ (jen lovable Schuft von " für gut oder falsch ") haben fortsetzen zu
+ entwickeln, wie beweisen durch ihr progressiv mehr kompliziert linguistisch
+ Muster und Sekundär- sexuell Eigenschaft. Interessen über das
+ Sittlichkeitsgefühl solch eines Experimentes beiseite, diese Samen- Arbeit
+ beeinflussen Kind-Psychologietheorie, damit Erzeugungen kommen. Außerdem
+ dieses Barfy eine Heftung.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ toyboatoyboat@aol.com from Big Shank, Alaska , March 24, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A Frightmare indeed.
+
+ As the wind breaks and the stench rises from the rear, so doth a
+ frightmare appear. In an old hotel on the coast sits an old woman, rocking
+ in her favorite chair. Her hair, white like a thousand strands of something
+ white. And hairlike. She sits and she waits for her son's return. But when
+ he returns, calling for his mother, she is...
+
+ No longer sitting in the chair, but making dinner. A caserole of
+ some sort, I believe. It smells delicious. I'm scared.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ billgates@microsoft.net from Earth, March 23, 1999
+ [4 out of 5 stars]
+
+ I laughed, I cried and then I nearly died.
+
+ This shows how much extra time I have on my hands. I am writing this
+ because I have nothing better to do. The book is stupid just like me.
+ Thusly that is why I give it 4 stars. Now stop bothering me.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from California, March 22, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ 50 years of drawing the same cartoon over and over daily have not
+ dulled Bil Keane's wit and sense of vengeance. Bil Keane astounds audiences
+ internationally with his stunning "I Had a Frightmare!"
+
+ I read this book from cover to cover in about 15 minutes and it
+ almost knocked me off my seat, it was that good.
+
+ I really liked the parts where Billy would walk to school and take
+ all these side routes, like petting a dog and stuff. It was really funny.
+ And then there were these parts where there were these ghosts and stuff
+ with all these weird names like Ida Know, and Not me that billy and jeffy
+ would say when they were really in trouble but they didn't want to get
+ caught and stuff it was really funny, it made me laugh so hard that milk
+ came out of my nose, i was drinking a glass a milk when i read it and
+ stuff. but milk didn't really come out of my nose. it just almost did and i
+ had all this stuff in my nose. it was really gross. i almost threw up.
+
+ "Not Me! Ida Know" ha ha ha ha
+
+ [-----]
+
+ uncleroy@itmniafodp.com from Seattle, WA , March 21, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ The John Denver of contemporary comics!
+
+ "I Had a Frightmare" sees Bil Keane stepping out from the shadows of
+ Schultz and Davis straight into the upper elcheon of comic artistes. What,
+ you may ask, could Keane have done differently this time to earn a place at
+ Mort Drucker's right side? I wish I knew, but it sure sounds good, doesn't
+ it?
+
+ Seriously, Bil Keane must've worked overtime on this collection. One
+ cartoon traces Billy's walk "down the block" to the bus stop. The amazing
+ twists and turns this simple half-block walk takes requires a steady,
+ patient eye in order to fully comprehend the joke. Keane manages to tie the
+ whole she-bang together, giving the reader that same sense of glee after
+ they put "Pulp Fiction" or "12 Monkeys" together.
+
+ Yes. It's that good.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Unit D, east wing, Fairview Mental Health Center,
+ March 20, 1999 [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ READ THIS BOOK!
+
+ My new psychotherapy tag-team, Dave and Kate, recommended I read
+ this book to gain perspective about the real-life "frightmare" that was my
+ own childhood. The warm, soft, and humorous content of this novel--or
+ "graphic novel", if you will-- reminded me of when I was ten, and finally
+ tall enough to wiggle out of the basement window of my parents' house.
+ Wearing nothing but a cigarette, I crouched in the neighbor's bushes and
+ watched them through their living room window for hours at a time, my heart
+ aching. Oh, how I coveted their love, their readily-apparent contentedness,
+ the complete absence of smeared feces on the walls and furniture.
+
+ Mr. Keane, thank you so much for taking me back to that night so many years
+ ago. I feel like I'm hiding in those bushes, watching those strangers,
+ every time I open one of your glorious books!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ insanepilgrim@hotmail.com from Painesville, Ohio, March 17, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A Triumph of the human soul!
+
+ Magnificent! With humor and warmth, Keane shines through the
+ darkness of the universe like a solitary star, twinkling into infinity.
+ This book is yet another example of how it's possible to live a pleasant,
+ even enjoyable life in a world gone mad. Though Billy may come across as
+ rambunctious, obnoxious, maybe homocidal, his family always shows the
+ utmost of patience and love with him. But mostly, this book is a story of
+ unbridled enthusiasm. Who can deny the energy of a screaming child, raging
+ in her exasperation at the continued mischief of her gung-ho brothers?
+
+ [-----]
+
+ Un Poodle Français from Ville De Poodle, La France , March 16, 1999
+ [4 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Une vue inquiétante d'une estacade à claire-voie monochrome
+ Vous avez- vous êtes-vous jamais réveillés d'un mauvais rêve, dans une
+ sueur froide, sûre pendant juste un moment qu'elle était tout vraie? C'est
+ plus ou moins la même expérience que vous apprécierez tout en lisant ce
+ livre. Dans la tradition de Lewis Carroll, il M. immortel Keane utilise le
+ dispositif ingénieux du portmanteau pour créer son propre langage, trouvant
+ le vocabulaire de l'anglais trop restrictif pour exprimer correctement ses
+ visions inquiétantes et déstabilisantes. En dépit de l'overreaction par
+ PETA à l'utilisation fréquente des animaux de compagnie de famille comme
+ nourriture, j'ai trouvé ceci un travail la plupart du temps compatissant et
+ sympathique. Mais il a effrayé le bejeezus hors de moi, je vous dira cela.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ Some other dog from Poodle City, Iowa, March 16, 1999
+ [4 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A distubring view of one family's monochrome heck
+
+ Have you ever woke up from a bad dream, in a cold sweat, sure for
+ just a moment that it was all real? That is much the same experience as you
+ will enjoy while reading this book. In the tradition of Lewis Carroll, he
+ immortal Mr. Keane employs the ingenious device of portmanteau to create
+ his own language, finding the vocabulary of English too restrictive to
+ properly express his disturbing and unsettling visions. Despite the
+ overreaction by PETA to the frequent use of the family pets as food, I
+ found this a mostly compassionate and sympathetic work. But it did scare
+ the bejeezus out of me, I'll tell you that.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ jeremy@thug.net from Oxford, Mississippi , March 15, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A story for the ages.
+
+ While seemingly a reflection of a young disenchanted misanthrope we
+ see it is actually a story of an individual attempting to break the mold of
+ the typical gen x-er. The Frightmare, society itself, leans heavily on
+ little Jeffy making it almost impossible for him to function as a true
+ individual. His struggle with his sexuality and society's standards.
+ Popular media has portrayed young girls as modelling themselves after
+ Barbie, but we really don't see the horror of this until we see how this
+ 'Barbie ideal' affects Jeffy's transvestite tendencies.
+
+ The Christmas scene where Dolly receives the Barbie Beach House set
+ that Jeffy secretly desired is a heartwrenching one. Jeffy swoons while
+ muttering one of the most important quotes in the book, 'Mistah Kurtz he
+ dead.' The Eliot reference from 'The Hollow Men' asks if we aren't all
+ hollow men. Is Jeffy the last true individual?
+
+ [-----]
+
+ M. Dog (oing@oing.com) from Oing City, Montana , March 15, 1999
+ [4 out of 5 stars]
+
+ If you buy just one book in your lifetime, this should be it
+
+ It is a scientific fact that more humans read the works of Mr. Keane
+ than Shakespeare and Milton combined. Why? Maybe it's because Keane
+ possesses more wit and humor in his little toe than Shakespeare had in his
+ whole foot. And although both Shakespeare and Milton toyed with the idea of
+ mispronounced food, neither was able to raise it to the high art that Keane
+ has. This literary breakthrough represents a milestone in fiction that will
+ change the way we look at the classics forever...and it raises the bar for
+ all those who follow. Already, many modern authors have tried to
+ incorporate mispronounced food into their writings in a futile attempt to
+ emulate Mr. Keane's revolutionary style. What next, Mr. Keane? What
+ barriers will you break down, what brilliant new trails will you blaze? I
+ eagerly await Mr. Keane's next tour de force.
+
+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+
+ "I'll Shovel the Cards" by Bill Keane
+ List Price: $3.99
+ Our Price: $3.19
+ You Save: $0.80 (20%)
+ This title usually ships within 2-3 days.
+
+ Book Description:
+
+ Another laugh-out-loud volume of heart-warming cartoon classics from
+ the pen of Bil Keane, creator of America's favorite comic strip family,
+ "The Family Circus."
+
+ Synopsis:
+
+ A collection of cartoons by the nationally syndicated creator of the
+ beloved Family Circus features the forever young children, Billy, Dolly,
+ and P.J.
+
+ A new collection of the heartwarming, hilarious comic strip America
+ loves--Family Circus. Bil Keane and his wife Thel, model for "Mommy" and
+ editor of the feature, have five children, sources of most of Keane's
+ cartoon ideas. Original.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ If you like this book, write an online review and share your
+ thoughts with other readers!
+
+ Avg. Customer Review: [4.5 out of 5 stars] Number of Reviews: 6
+
+ Aurelianobuendia@macondo.com from Moscow, ID, April 9, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ I like cookies too, Jeffy...
+
+ One of the reasons that I enjoy reading Family Circus is because of
+ the many parallels that it draws between my home life and my adopted family
+ in the funny pages. Man, it's almost eerie how often I think to myself,
+ "You know, if the dad in the cartoon wore a beard, drank alot more, and
+ cursed at the kids more often, he'd be just like my dad." Also, "Wow, I
+ really like the mom's new hairdo. That's probably what my mom looks like,
+ even though I haven't seen her since she ran out on us when I was four." I
+ especially like the whole "grandfather in heaven watching over me" story
+ line. I sometimes feel that my grandfather is watching me too, except he's
+ still alive, and it's usually when I am trying to take a shower. I do
+ wonder when Bil Keane will begin to tackle the more difficult issues
+ concerning his children, for instance, "Daddy, why are you and Mommy
+ wrestling without any clothes? Are you mad at her?" and "Mommy, the dog is
+ wrestling with my leg again...and I kinda like it!" I know that these
+ issues take time to bring to the surface, and Mr. Keane has only just
+ begun. Kudos and huzzah to you, Mr. Keane...a true American genius.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ A reader from Paris, France, March 29, 1999 [1 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Towards a lesser art.
+
+ More tired drivel pours forth from the tired pen of this wretched
+ champion of the nuclear family. Again we are subjected to the malapropisms
+ of the brain-damaged dwarves masquerading as children and the utter
+ inadequacy of the parents Bil and Thel. But the one feature that sticks out
+ more than anything else is the art. All speaking characters are given
+ little round holes for mouths in a grotesque reference to the inflatable
+ love doll that is the sole companion of cartoonist Keane. The simple lines
+ are more insulting to Miro than derivative and the color, when Keane can be
+ bothered to rise from his drunken stupor long enough to apply it, is enough
+ to make Jasper Johns burn his canvases. In short, Keane is a modern Duchamp
+ placing a toilet in our funny pages and duping the establishment to take it
+ as more than the tedious fecal disposal of an alcoholic suburbanite who
+ should have been taken out and shot in the Johnson era.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ bkeane@prodigy.com from Arizona, March 15, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ STOP PICKING ON ME!
+
+ If you have not read my books, please don't write fake reviews.
+ Oh, and my name only has one "L" as in "Bil."
+
+ (bunch of retards)
+
+ [-----]
+
+ rwashington@hotmail.com from Arizona, March 15, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ Stop the Madness!!!!!
+
+ This has become ridiculous! It is obvious that some cult of deranged
+ lunatics have bombarded this site with bogus reviews. I can't imagine why
+ anyone would want to purposely attack a wholesome cartoon like "Family
+ Circus." Bil Keane has been creating clean, thoughtful, and hilarious
+ cartoons for our enjoyment for decades. There have NEVER been any of his
+ cartoons about “nutsaks,” or “Uncle Roy”; and how on earth are you
+ connecting NAMBLA with the Keanes? You sick weirdoes need professional
+ help! It is obvious you come from dysfunctional families. If more families
+ patterned their lives after the Keanes, there would be fewer sickos out
+ there to inundate helpful sites like amazon.com with X-rated trash. As for
+ this book, "I'll Shovel the Cards," it was another side-splitting
+ concoction of comedy cartoons that held my attention wher it is. Bravo,
+ Mr. Keane!
+
+ [-----]
+
+ Mkatkutani@nytimes.com from Times Square, baby, March 10, 1999
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ A glimpse into darkness
+
+ Bil Keane, our master of modern day American angst depicts the
+ desperate world of the young gambler. A young girl, trapped into a world of
+ the fast hustler and the turn of the cards.
+
+ Her family, unaware of the deepning sickness, remain isolated in the
+ placid suburbia where they remain isolated from the concerns of the world.
+ Only when Dolly is threatened by late night visitors, Ida Know and Not Me,
+ does her peril become clear.
+
+ Her brothers, rip asundered by years of conflict, are forced to pull
+ together to save their sister from the Mob and herself. Can the angry young
+ men over come their differences, forged in a turbulant childhood, to save
+ what is left of their family.
+
+ The climax of this book is as searing as anything John Le Carre has
+ ever written. Billy, Jeffy and PJ will become as seared in the imagination
+ as George Smiley. But instead of the murky world of post-war Europe, it is
+ in America's suburbia where the shadows hold menace and each turn of the
+ cards is fraught with suspense.
+
+ Bil Keane is at the top of his game, leaving behind Le Carre and
+ even Greene as the master of the shadow worlds, where every ally can be an
+ enemy and every friend a weakness.
+
+ [-----]
+
+ policypam@aol.com from Chicago, IL, December 14, 1998
+ [5 out of 5 stars]
+
+ The kids are cute, the jokes are real, a must read! What can I say?
+ "I'll Shovel the Cards" is, quite frankly, a shovelful of fun! This
+ installment of the crazy adventures of the Keane clan is a real keeper.
+ Previous Family Circus collections have always been heartfelt, hilarious,
+ and oh so true, and this one is no exception. Pick up "I'll Shovel the
+ Cards" today!
+
+ [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
+ [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #621 - WRITTEN BY: ANONYMOUS - 5/9/99 ]
